


are we that apart?

by howellz



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 04:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15477894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howellz/pseuds/howellz
Summary: dan and phil can't always share a bed when they're on tour, but sometimes they want to anyways





	are we that apart?

They say, often in long distance relationships, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. “Long distance” is subjective though, of course. For some people it’s a few hours drive, for some people it’s a plane flight away, and for Dan it’s a total of two feet every night on a tour bus.

He knows it’s dumb, to be bothered by something so insignificant. He feels incredibly lucky to be able to travel the world like this, doing what he loves for thousands of people who love him. And it’s not like Phil’s left home in London, thousands of miles away - no, Phil’s right here, literally by Dan’s side in every single part of their trip and their show that they built together.

Additionally, there’s no good reason for Dan to be annoyed about the separate bunks in the first place. They’re not the type of people who absolutely need to share a bed every night at home. Sure, they do a lot of the time, but sometimes one of them will be busy playing video games or scrolling through Tumblr for a bit too long for the other one to handle, and they’ll end up crashing on the couch while the other person goes to bed. That’s never been a problem. Besides, for the beginning of his relationship with Phil, they didn’t even have the option of sleeping in the same bed most nights, and Dan clearly survived that.

As though Phil can read his mind, Dan’s phone flashes with a text notification from Phil. 

_ You don’t sound like you’re sleeping!!!!! Go to sleep we have a show!!!!! No napping tomorrow! >:( _

Most nights on stage, Dan and Phil prove that they do not, in fact, have any type of psychic connection. However, some events, even if they’re just random texts after midnight, make Dan question if maybe they do. They might not be able to guess the same word in response to a prompt, but they know the littlest things about each other, and Phil knows him as a person, what makes him tick, more than anyone else in the world.

**_how do u know im awake zzzzzzz. u go to sleep_ **

It’s the fact Phil’s right there that makes it harder, probably. When they have to go on family vacations or business related trips without the other, Dan misses Phil, always, of course he does. But he never specifically misses sharing a bed with him. It’s more of a case of missing Phil over a breakfast alone, or missing Phil when he has a funny encounter that he knows won’t be as entertaining over text, or when someone makes a reference to something that reminds him of Phil. But he can sleep fine alone. That’s never really been a serious issue for either of them. They’re an appropriate level of clingy, and they can handle nights apart if it’s for something that’s worth it. Usually.

_ you know you move more when you’re asleep.  _

_ And i will lol thank you dad _

Dan needs to not be given an option that he can’t take, is what it is. He needs to either know that Phil is too far to be with him, or that Phil is with him and Dan can be with him whenever he wants. It’s the inbetween that Dan can’t handle. The fact that, technically, Phil is two feet away from him all night and technically they could be together at every moment, they’re just not.

He knows that the existence of the option doesn’t mean it’s reasonable. There’s plenty of logical, smart reasons why they sleep in their separate bunks, as they both know very well after spending multiple weeks on the bus. It’s not even about the other people. They might not have formally addressed anything, publicly, but the people they work with, the people they’re now becoming friends with, aren’t idiots. It’s not hard to tell what Dan and Phil are to each other. No, it’s more about the fact that it’s basically impossible to shove two over-six foot tall men into one of those tiny bunks, which are somehow even smaller than they look, and still fall asleep comfortably. They’ve tried, and now they’ve accepted that it’s just not going to happen.

And so, over the weeks of living off a tour bus, Dan has had to uncomfortably come to terms with the fact that he suddenly misses Phil an inordinate amount every night they’re apart. He wants to be able to roll over and show Phil something funny he saw on his phone, or for Phil to turn and show him some weird animal video without the extra effort of a text conversation. He wants to be able to touch Phil’s hand or his hair or his face should he get the urge to.

But he - can’t. And some nights it’s a lot more frustrating than others, and this is one of those nights.

Dan turns around in his bunk, just once because Phil’s right, as usual, and Dan doesn’t tend to move around very much until he’s actually asleep. He considers sucking it up and dealing with the separation (which is barely separation, seriously, he’s self-aware that he’s being too dramatic), but he sucked it up and dealt with it the last few nights, and now he’s lonely, despite spending every waking minute of every day either with Phil or texting him. 

Besides, Dan knows that if he’s feeling a bit out of place, alone in his bunk, then Phil probably is too, in some way. Phil may be texting him to go to sleep, ever the caring, logical boyfriend, but it doesn’t escape him that Phil is also awake later than he should be, considering the long day they had and the long day approaching. So with that in mind, Dan doesn’t really feel that bad about sending one more text to Phil.

**_want to be clingy ?_ **

Immediately, the typing bubbles pop up and Dan knows he’s getting what he wants.

_ You’re the worst i was almost asleep _

Phil’s response is essentially meaningless - the fact that he responded immediately tells a different story and Dan knows that while Phil probably could’ve fallen asleep soon, he wasn’t actually doing so, and he probably knew what Dan was going to ask for before he even did. Phil’s good like that.

So Dan tiptoes out of his bunk, and out of the room, into the kitchen lounge area, and he hears Phil follow him out a minute later, so they can vaguely curl up together on the lounge bench for a few hours before they’ll be woken up for another day. It’s not the first time they’ve done this, but they can’t do it every night. It’s certainly not the most comfortable option, and the fit is only a bit better than the bunks, but it’s enough for the few nights where they’re particularly clingy.

He lays, curled a bit awkwardly on the bench next to Phil, and despite the cramped position, he feels both of them relax a bit into each other. Being on tour is nice, and having separate bunks is a part of that life that they both signed up for fully aware of what it would entail. Some nights it’s nice being in their bunks just for the sake of knowing what it means - that they’re traveling a foreign country in a bus usually meant for celebrities of a level Dan doesn’t quite feel on par with. But sometimes? This, spending midnight curled up on a half-couch with Phil for a few hours so they don’t have to be alone.. It’s also nice.

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr @howellz


End file.
